My Solution To Global Warming

If breweries would brew pre-flattened beer², and deliver it by electric vehicles¹ – they would greatly reduce the amount of CO2 in the atmosphere. Only people who live within 40 miles of a brewery would be able to purchase beer.

¹Budweisier would also be able to deliver by Clydesdale, if they corked the beasts to minimize farting.

²In England, pre-flattened beer is called “ale” and tastes like it came from the Clydsedale.

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Just having fun
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21 Responses to My Solution To Global Warming

  1. Billy Liar says:

    … pre-flattened beer is called ”ale” and tastes like it came from the Clydesdale.

    When it’s been fizzed up and cooled down it’s called Coors.

  2. suyts says:

    Hey! If that’s the plan, then Imma gonna claim I’m an Indian and I use beer for religious ceremonies!!!!

  3. gator69 says:

    “Only people who live within 40 miles of a brewery would be able to purchase beer.”

    Who are these poor souls who live further than 40 miles from a brewery? Is there anything we can do to help? The horror!

  4. John B., M.D. says:

    Ban yeast which creates the carbonation and fementation in beer, as well as makes bread rise.
    We must save the world from CO2.

    • gofer says:

      I still maintain the average person has no idea what CO2 is and what it does. They think immediately of carbon monoxide or particulates when “carbon pollution” is mentioned. A lot of people would be shocked that they exhale CO2 and it’s beer bubbles that’s going to destroy the planet.

  5. Marian says:

    “Only people who live within 40 miles of a brewery would be able to purchase beer.”

    Whew! I’m safe then. There’s a big brewery Not too far from me. :-)

    Seriously though:

    “My Solution To Global Warming”

    Closed down self-perpetuating Global Warming Big Bureaucracy, Big Academia, Big U.N!

  6. Andy DC says:

    The problem is that stinking humans emit CO2, especially evil white males with all their greedy capitalist ventures.

    • Marian says:

      Well

      Just shutdown ALL the Climate Change research SuperComputers. That should save alot of power and CO2 emissions.. I presume a lot of them are operated by ‘evil white males’. :-)

  7. LLAP says:

    “If breweries would brew pre-flattened beer² …”

    Or they could do like the St. James’ Gate Brewery in the making of Guinness:

    “The thick creamy head is the result of the beer being mixed with nitrogen when being poured”.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guinness_Brewery

  8. Have some knot-headed cabbies in some low-lying country sue Germany over the CO2 released by the Andernach Geyser. That should solve everything.

    • Marian says:

      LOL:

      NZ could be in trouble then. We’ve got geysers here.

      Tuvalu and Kiribati might sue us for their imagined Sea level rise. :-)

      http://www.rotorua.nz.com/geothermal.aspx

      • Billy in NZ says:

        Hi Marian,yep,we in deep sh&t.Cold as in New Plymouth.But I feel for the South Islanders suffering from all that hot snow.Should John Key perhaps tax me for the co2 in my home brew?Be the last thing he will tax me on,they are doing o.k.with the Emissions Taxing Scam

  9. slimething says:

    Everyone is failing to see the economic possibilities here. Imagine the jobs created when a brewery must be built every 40 miles!

  10. papiertigre says:

    as long as we’re building a brewery within 40 miles of the next one, maybe we could stick a thermometer on each one of them. Get better coverage than Hansen.

  11. gallopingcamel says:

    When a Clydesdale produces an amber colored sample it usually means that the horse is not fit for heavy work.

  12. Another Ian says:

    Re Billy Liar says:
    June 18, 2012 at 10:32 pm

    In the spirit of Mad Magazine of past times on completing the advertising slogan “Coors beer. Brewed with Rocky Mountain spring water. Lots of it”

  13. Another Ian says:

    Re
    gator69 says:
    June 18, 2012 at 10:54 pm
    and
    slimething says:
    June 19, 2012 at 1:54 am

    No problem.

    One of our major Australian suppliers of homebrew mix is labeling its yeast packs as “DIY Beer”

  14. roger says:

    The degree of carbonisation otherwise known as “the head” varies between the counties of the UK.
    Some prefer a big head resulting in short measure on a standard pint glass whilst others prefer their beer totally flat and filled to the brim.
    Surprisingly it is not our Scottish friends who look for full measure of their brews which are considered a poor imitation of ale by we southerners, particularly in the south west and specifically near Devizes where the finest beer in all christendom is made and rejoices in the name Wadworths 6X!
    This should be served neither warm nor cold but rather at the temperature imparted by an old fashioned cellar.

  15. philjourdan says:

    God, do not let my street be an avenue for Budweiser. When those Clydesdales blow, there is going to be a huge mess to clean up! LOL

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