The Emperor’s New Clothes

The professor realized that the people were right but could not admit to that. He though it better to continue the procession under the illusion that anyone who couldn’t see the imaginary climate crisis was either stupid or incompetent.

Once upon a time there lived a vain Emperor whose only worry in life was to dress in elegant clothes. He changed clothes almost every hour and loved to show them off to his people.

Word of the Emperor’s refined habits spread over his kingdom and beyond. Two scoundrels who had heard of the Emperor’s vanity decided to take advantage of it. They introduced themselves at the gates of the palace with a scheme in mind.

“We are two very good tailors and after many years of research we have invented an extraordinary method to weave a cloth so light and fine that it looks invisible. As a matter of fact it is invisible to anyone who is too stupid and incompetent to appreciate its quality.”

The chief of the guards heard the scoundrel’s strange story and sent for the court chamberlain. The chamberlain notified the prime minister, who ran to the Emperor and disclosed the incredible news. The Emperor’s curiosity got the better of him and he decided to see the two scoundrels.

“Besides being invisible, your Highness, this cloth will be woven in colors and patterns created especially for you.” The emperor gave the two men a bag of gold coins in exchange for their promise to begin working on the fabric immediately.

“Just tell us what you need to get started and we’ll give it to you.” The two scoundrels asked for a loom, silk, gold thread and then pretended to begin working. The Emperor thought he had spent his money quite well: in addition to getting a new extraordinary suit, he would discover which of his subjects were ignorant and incompetent. A few days later, he called the old and wise prime minister, who was considered by everyone as a man with common sense.

“Go and see how the work is proceeding,” the Emperor told him, “and come back to let me know.”

The prime minister was welcomed by the two scoundrels.

“We’re almost finished, but we need a lot more gold thread. Here, Excellency! Admire the colors, feel the softness!” The old man bent over the loom and tried to see the fabric that was not there. He felt cold sweat on his forehead.

“I can’t see anything,” he thought. “If I see nothing, that means I’m stupid! Or, worse, incompetent!” If the prime minister admitted that he didn’t see anything, he would be discharged from his office.

“What a marvelous fabric, he said then. “I’ll certainly tell the Emperor.” The two scoundrels rubbed their hands gleefully. They had almost made it. More thread was requested to finish the work.

Finally, the Emperor received the announcement that the two tailors had come to take all the measurements needed to sew his new suit.

“Come in,” the Emperor ordered. Even as they bowed, the two scoundrels pretended to be holding large roll of fabric.

“Here it is your Highness, the result of our labour,” the scoundrels said. “We have worked night and day but, at last, the most beautiful fabric in the world is ready for you. Look at the colors and feel how fine it is.” Of course the Emperor did not see any colors and could not feel any cloth between his fingers. He panicked and felt like fainting. But luckily the throne was right behind him and he sat down. But when he realized that no one could know that he did not see the fabric, he felt better. Nobody could find out he was stupid and incompetent. And the Emperor didn’t know that everybody else around him thought and did the very same thing.

The farce continued as the two scoundrels had foreseen it. Once they had taken the measurements, the two began cutting the air with scissors while sewing with their needles an invisible cloth.

“Your Highness, you’ll have to take off your clothes to try on your new ones.” The two scoundrels draped the new clothes on him and then held up a mirror. The Emperor was embarrassed but since none of his bystanders were, he felt relieved.

“Yes, this is a beautiful suit and it looks very good on me,” the Emperor said trying to look comfortable. “You’ve done a fine job.”

“Your Majesty,” the prime minister said, “we have a request for you. The people have found out about this extraordinary fabric and they are anxious to see you in your new suit.” The Emperor was doubtful showing himself naked to the people, but then he abandoned his fears. After all, no one would know about it except the ignorant and the incompetent.

“All right,” he said. “I will grant the people this privilege.” He summoned his carriage and the ceremonial parade was formed. A group of dignitaries walked at the very front of the procession and anxiously scrutinized the faces of the people in the street. All the people had gathered in the main square, pushing and shoving to get a better look. An applause welcomed the regal procession. Everyone wanted to know how stupid or incompetent his or her neighbor was but, as the Emperor passed, a strange murmur rose from the crowd.

Everyone said, loud enough for the others to hear: “Look at the Emperor’s new clothes. They’re beautiful!”

“What a marvellous train!”

“And the colors! The colors of that beautiful fabric! I have never seen anything like it in my life!” They all tried to conceal their disappointment at not being able to see the clothes, and since nobody was willing to admit his own stupidity and incompetence, they all behaved as the two scoundrels had predicted.

A child, however, who had no important job and could only see things as his eyes showed them to him, went up to the carriage.

“The Emperor is naked,” he said.

“Fool!” his father reprimanded, running after him. “Don’t talk nonsense!” He grabbed his child and took him away. But the boy’s remark, which had been heard by the bystanders, was repeated over and over again until everyone cried:

“The boy is right! The Emperor is naked! It’s true!”

The Emperor realized that the people were right but could not admit to that. He though it better to continue the procession under the illusion that anyone who couldn’t see his clothes was either stupid or incompetent. And he stood stiffly on his carriage, while behind him a page held his imaginary mantle.


About stevengoddard

Just having fun
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9 Responses to The Emperor’s New Clothes

  1. Tony Duncan says:

    your analogy is absurd (where have I seen that recently”). Unless you edited out the peer review process that included other tailors doing tests on the material in independent shops and agreeing with the scoundrels about the coloring and fineness.

    • Independent shops? They all slop at the same money trough.

      Telling freezing people that it is the hottest year ever is pretty much of a non-starter.

    • Mike Davis says:

      You are just to stupid to admit the IPCC Emperor has no clothes on. You have fallen so hard for the lies you can not realize the truth whenever it is presented to you!

      • Tony Duncan says:

        So therefore the whole ACC thing is a conspiracy. If it is based on lies. So then, I repeat, as I have repeated many many times on this blog. the end is near. No way all the major sciences will be able to continue this fraud for very long. the entire climate science field will be a shambles and as soon as the first pieces start coming apart some of the conspirators will be bound to turn, since they are all unethical opportunists anyway.
        The problem is that there have been so many lies and contradictory theories about why ACC is wrong that I have been unable to understand the folly. Now that you have shown a valid theory that is more accurate than ACC there is no hope.
        I look forward to the peer reviewed papers that elucidate the specifics, and for the total realignment of climate science in the next couple of years. it should be quite exciting. The investigations and probably trials should be quite exciting too.

      • The geologists and engineers I know for the most part think this whole thing is a joke.

      • Mike Davis says:

        You just do not get it!
        There is no conspiracy! The IPCC was formed with a specific goal and they are following the set path they were tasked with. Not a conspiracy! If the goal is advertised and known by all no conspiracy can exist.
        I see the entire scientific field suffering from the work of a few and their defenders. Funding for scientific research will be reduced to next to nothing as it becomes evident what the researchers are doing.
        It is not just Climate Science but that group may be the catalyst.

      • Tony Duncan says:

        Steve, if the geologists and engineers think it is a joke, then the geologists should start sending papers that can be critiqued by other scientists showing this to be the case. If this is such an obvious fraud, having hundreds of geologists pointing out the obvious scientific flaws will cause the thing to collapse even faster.
        Get the press to read the geosciences position papers on ACC so that they can see that the majority of geologists know this is a fraud and you will hasten the downfall.
        WHAT are you guys waiting for? This is much to important not to pull out the big scientific guns on your side!

      • Tony Duncan says:

        Mike, How can this NOT be a conspiracy when you say the science is obvious and the alternative theory is much more consistent with the facts. Why not just publish the accurate theory as well as the documentation of fraudulent activity in the peer review literature? If journals refuse to publish valid research and documentation of fraud then, again, the end is near, because there are just too many scientists who will not accept such massive corruption. They will know that this alternative theory is more accurate, and there will have to be a major reckoning, as this is the biggest scientific fraud in history. it cannot just peter out because WAY too much has been made of it. People like me, who have been duped all these years will not just say, oh, well, they just made the stuff up. Head will have to roll, and LOTS of them.

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