Given the failure of the prophesies about Manhattan drowning, ice caps melting, and temperatures rising, the church has come to rely on a select group of people who feel unbounded by history – and are willing to rewrite historical data to suit the needs of the church.
These brave and unselfish souls deserve recognition!
Nominee #1 NASA. Got rid of that nasty US cooling trend.
Nominee #2 NASA. Got rid of that nasty Northern Hemisphere cooling trend.
Nominee #3 Team Sea Level. Tripled sea level rise overnight.
Nominee #4 Michael Mann. Erased the Medieval Warm Period
Nominee #5 Phil Jones. Determined that the 1860s were cold, without any data for 90% of the planet.
Nominee #6 The Whole Team. They determined that extreme weather is increasing, without actually looking at any historical data.