Signs Of Heresy

Our church of CO2 worship is threatened. There are interlopers among us. If you see any of these behaviors, report them immediately to the climate inquisition.

  1. Blaming weather on anything other than CO2. It is blasphemy to deny the power of the one true CO2 god.
  2. Claiming that current weather patterns mimic past weather patterns. This is impossible because the CO2 god was not with us at the time
  3. Reporting weather data from before 1975.  That is the date when the CO2 god arrived on earth. Everything has changed now.
  4. Reporting unadjusted data.  Only the high priests have the wisdom to interpret raw data.

We are in the process of converting all raw data files to Latin, to prevent further heresy.

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5 Responses to Signs Of Heresy

  1. John B., M.D. says:

    sin – emitting CO2
    repentance – paying carbon taxes
    church – U.N.
    Bible – IPCC reports
    priests – Hansen, Mann, Gore, alarmist bloggers, etc.
    bishops – IPCC officials
    Pope – Pachauri
    dogma – CAGW theory

    Everyone, feel free to modify or add to the above. I misplaced a longer list of comparisons.

  2. John B., M.D. says:

    famine – drought
    Noah’s flood – sea level rise, unprecedented rain
    plague – spread of tropical infectious diseases
    the world at 350 ppm – Garden of Eden

  3. hkorp says:

    I have posted my thought on this before, but here it is again:

    I think climate alarmism is something that happens very easily in secular societies. Most humans have biological need to believe into something higher – into some universal laws that are there – into some universal justice. When a person predisposed to believe in such things grows in a secular environment, that need to believe will force that person to believe the first “rational” substitute he/she encounters.

    Lets see what are the common features in climate alarmism and many other religions. I’ll compare it with the one religion I know best:

    1) The lead role is played by almighty silent entity (scientific concensus / god). Nobody has seen him, but everybody believes he exists. I mean – how many believers can name a single climate scientist, yet they are completely sure how their collective mind thinks?

    2) The entity is represented by people, who don’t claim to have the entity’s power, but who communicate that entity’s will to the masses. (Gore / Pope)

    3) There is an political organization that decides what is the official truth based on politically correct facts. (IPCC / Meeting of Nikea 325AD)

    4) The faithful believe that every answer can be found from the book of that aforementioned political organization. Very few have actually read the book, especially with criticism and thought. (IPCC ARs / The Bible)

    5) Life that is too easy and pleasant is a sin, and you’ll end up in a very bad situation in the end if you don’t make your life a bit harder and unpleasant. Nobody’s going to like that future, because it will be the worst possible situation for everyone. Where there is too much rain already, there will be more. Where there is drought, there will be even less rain. Where there is cold, there will be colder (“The gulf-stream will stop!”) and where there is warm, it’ll be hotter. (Climate change / Hell)

    6) Not committing sin is practically impossible. Who has not been proud or envious? Same thing with CO2. Even only by breathing you are destroying the environment. You can not achieve totally sinless life, but’ll have to content to being the least sinful you can and then make up the rest.

    7) Luxury and confort is evil, but easy living can be conpensated with some hard cash to the right people. Those people then claim to use this money to neutralize your sins.

    8) There is an evil entity that tempts and distracts the believers with lies and makes weak-minded and corrupted people lie for him. Every fact that is in conflict with the official belief is just a lie created and passed on by that evil entity. (Exxon / Devil)

    9) Every unpleasant occurrence is reminder of the faith. Was it too hot? Was it too cold? Too wet? Too windy? Too much ice? Too little ice? They are all signs of the almighty (Climate change / God), and they only happen because humans have been bad.

    10) As every religion, also climate change is equivocal enough to be used as a basis for just about any agenda imaginable. It can be used to regulate economies, used as a political tool and it can be used as a reason to justify your need to meddle with the businesses of others.

    11) The believers react aggressively to any new discovery that conflicts with their faith – even those that should for any rational reason be considered cheering news. Any new discovery (for example an alarmist study that is falsified) that shows that the situation is not as bad as it seems is recieved with disappointment and rage. It would seem that if one were truly worried about the future of the planet, any proof of the contrary would be welcomed with joy. This is not rational approach and bears likeness to the reaction to blasphemy.

    12) Confession of faith. Any study that creates doubt in the minds of the believers must declare it is not atheistic. Darwin had to begin and end his masterpiece by declaring his faith to God. So must any scientist that produces a study that contradict any prediction of AGW. The notion “I belive in human induced global warming, that will cause chaos in the world” has to be included in the abstract, or else the authors risk being attacked and their study ignored.

    13) The need to have purely symbolic ritualistic events that are meant to anounce loyality to the faith and increase group unity, without having any noticeable, meaningful effect. (Earth Hour, etc.)

    God of AGW is the all-knowing, all-loving, fatherly, kind and gentle scientific concensus, who wants to save you from your sins if only you would repent and start living like a true believer should. It’s he who nobody has seen but whose existence is not to be called into question if you want the discussion to remain civil.

    It is not a coincidence that Al Gore is approaching the case from a religious perspective: “I’ve done a Christian [-based] training program; I have a Muslim training program and a Jewish training program coming up, also a Hindu program coming up. I trained 200 Christian ministers and lay leaders here in Nashville in a version of the slide show that is filled with scriptural references. It’s probably my favourite version, but I don’t use it very often because it can come off as proselytising,” Gore tells Newsweek.

    I believe that the lack of faith in God is the single most important reason that this climate change hysteria has grown so big. It is also the reason why that hysteria is most out of proportion in countries that are secular (Scandinavia) and why religious countries are much less likely to be irrationally alarmist.

    Faith is a miraculous thing. The need for it is extremely strong. If you try do deny it, it will catch you there where you don’t know to expect it. Perfect cult to suck people in is the one that doesn’t look like a cult. It looks like science – the enemy of religion – therefore it is outrageous to even think about it being just one.

    And then you don’t think about it. You just believe. And it feels right.

  4. Another Ian says:

    Have they thought that Monckton can probably read Latin?

    • tckev says:

      Monckton was educated at Harrow School and Churchill College, Cambridge (where he received his B.A. (Classics, 1974, Cantab., now M.A.)), and at University College, Cardiff, where he obtained a diploma in journalism studies.

      Educated in Classics usually familiarities students with ancient languages of Greek and Latin, as well as the literature, art, philosophy and history of Greek and Roman cultures and their reception and use in modern culture. Furthermore it allows the opportunity to study more thematic topics in depth.

      He also invented the Eternity puzzle – a mathematical puzzle for which he offered a prize of one million (UK)pounds to the first person who could solve it within four years.

      Quite an interesting Wiki entry…

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