Job Posting : Government Climate Scientist Need

Job description :

  • Generate data and reports which support the White House goal of carbon taxes, wealth redistribution, destroying the fossil fuel industry and reduction of personal freedom. Must blame Republicans for bad weather.

Skills required :

  • Data tampering
  • Generation of meaningless statistics
  • Argumentative, but unwilling to debate
  • Ignore FOIA requests
  • Ignoring the past
  • Belief that time started in 1970
  • Superstition
  • Willing to go along with an imaginary consensus
  • Hysterics
  • Incompetent interpretation
  • Ignorance of climate history
  • General sheep like thought process
  • Obama bumper sticker

Optional, but a plus :

  • Forgery
  • Destruction of E-mails

About stevengoddard

Just having fun
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8 Responses to Job Posting : Government Climate Scientist Need

  1. gregole says:

    Steven,

    Minor correction:

    Belief that time started in 1970, and there never was an ice-age scare.

  2. There Is No Substitute for Victory says:

    Must believe that civilization first began @ 12:00 Noon on January 20Th 2009

  3. Andy Oz says:

    Key Performance Indicator for job.
    Keep 80% of fossil fuels in the ground.

    You guys in the northern hemisphere will freeze to death without fossil fuels and the rest of us will starve to death without food grown with fertiliser made from fossil fuel natural gas. The Australian Climate Commission are class A morons. In 90 days they will all be sacked and sent back to the private sector or McDonalds.

    http://www.abc.net.au/news/2013-06-17/fossil-fuel-reserves-must-stay-in-ground-report/4757448

  4. Andy DC says:

    Actually time actually began in 1979, a cherry picked year after three consecutive winters of record cold. If it is warmer than the 3 coldest years in history, there must be catastrophic warming. (sarc)

  5. Rosco says:

    You forgot – “Witch Burner”.

  6. WJohn says:

    Must be able to remember the user-names and passwords of at least 3 email accounts .
    Ability to re-predict the past a useful asset.

  7. meltemian says:

    Knowledge of ‘Excel’ optional.

  8. palantir says:

    Hey, I can do all that stuff. How much does it pay?

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