Setting Fire To Stranger’s Driveways To Stop Global Warming

Amanda Bynes took her pants off and set someone’s driveway on fire in order to stop global warming, and then she explained her actions.

2:00 p.m.: Oh, give me a break: am I really now to blame for the anthropogenic destruction of the Earth’s atmosphere and subsequent increase in natural disasters such as forest fires? Is that so? I single-handedly wrought unusually arid conditions in desert climates, causing dry surfaces to become susceptible to fire and those fires more difficult to control? Think about it: Did I use a “little red gas tank” to set fire to a stranger’s driveway in Thousand Oaks, California, after spending the day pantslessly in a Santa Monica–area Bloomingdales? Or did humanity use capitalism to systematically destroy our planet’s limited natural resources after spending the day pantslessly in a Santa Monica–area Bloomingdales?

2:15 p.m.: Realizing that global-warming performance piece was a spectacular disaster.

2:30 p.m.: I’m in the hospital. You know who else is in the hospital? The Earth, metaphorically. To paraphrase a poster I saw in a Ricky’s: if you’re not in the hospital, you’re not paying attention.

Public and Police Both Misinterpret Amanda Bynes’s Global Warming Performance Art | Vanity Fair

About stevengoddard

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17 Responses to Setting Fire To Stranger’s Driveways To Stop Global Warming

  1. Eric Barnes says:

    In Vanity Fair. How appropriate.

  2. Mike D says:

    Hope she gets the help she needs in the hospital.

  3. Bruce says:

    Liar, liar pants on fire?

  4. Jambon-X says:

    Thanks, Steve.

    Had not heard about the “global warming” connection to the driveway arson story. I thought it was just a little case of temporary insanity.

    Looks like it’s more of a permanent thing.

    • R. de Haan says:

      It was a case of insanity. She should be transferred to the asylum. Know a nutcase when you encounter one.

  5. Mike says:

    I think this is the most reasonable approach to AGW that I’ve heard so far.

    • Eric Barnes says:

      Certainly more cost effective than a carbon tax which would just be throwing money into the federal government rathole. It certainly would cost much less to burn everyones driveway, and we could just declare victory afterwards.

      Light your driveway on fire for GAIA!

      • Mike says:

        Agreed. It might be even more effective if they left their pants ON when they did it. Of course it would take many, many, many of them to do this before we would know for sure… but can we afford to wait? It’s the health of Mother Earth we’re talking about here.

  6. R. de Haan says:

    Next target, the runway of LAX

  7. Dave says:

    Ultimately Michael Mann and James Hansen and that crowd are responsible for this. The “climate science” community goes around predicting doom, saying this is the greatest struggle ever faced by humanity etc. Its not surprising some mentally unstable people would begin resorting to drastic actions after hearing that the climate is more important than the second world war and the holocaust and that humanity is about to vanish in a great fire. In fact I’d guess some perfectly sane people could engage in drastic actions, since they believe they are saving everything that exists.

  8. DEEBEE says:

    Perhaps having been told throughout her nurtured years that she was one in a million, the shock of being one OF a 7 billion, was too much

  9. Publicity stunt…. probably designed to overcome the “Amanda who?” problem she’s facing with a large segment of the population….

  10. Kaboom says:

    That’s pretty much on par for the average climate zealot. Why do you make this news?

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