No white-skinned unknown radical left wing community organizer lacking any legitimate experience would have had a chance of being elected President. I apologize for the racism of my fellow countrymen in electing you to a position which you are unqualified for and incapable of handling.
Certainly that person would not have been re-elected after f**king up so badly the first four years, so I apologize doubly for the racism displayed by 52% of the country (including the dead voters who voted multiple times.).
If you get impeached for incompetence and malfeasance at your current position (which is probably the only regular job you ever had) then I apologize triply.