If there were a thousand dead bodies floating down Boulder Creek, I’m guessing that one of the 20,000 or so people gawking at the creek this weekend might have noticed.
Disrupting the Borg is expensive and time consuming!
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Real Science 
Give the bodies a few more days for them to float and bob to the surface.
Probably too high on marijuana to know they need to check in. In the mean time, assume minorities and the poor are hardest hit, since that is a mandatory addition to any disaster report.
None of them were witches so they sunk.
In New Orleans, some citizens sat casually at home waiting for Government to send them an Ark on which to escape to a Federally funded resort somewhere. As the waters rose around them, some, no doubt, failed to walk upstairs or hold their breath, and drowned where they sat.
So if the Hippies in the woods simply don’t throw themselves into the river, they’re probably fine, smoking dope and eating brownies.
Where are our newest alarmists? Don’t they have anything to say about this?