Call In The EPA SWAT Team

I was soaking Pinto beans to make chili, and left them in the water a little longer than I planned. When I went to cook them this morning, I could see that they were just starting to ferment and produce CO2.

Generating CO2 is now a crime in the US, so it is a good thing that Obama has been heavily arming the EPA, the IRS and the orphaned fawn tactical team.


About stevengoddard

Just having fun
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15 Responses to Call In The EPA SWAT Team

  1. Chuck says:

    Wow! I’m in big trouble then. My lovely little micro eco-terrorists breaking down sugars and converting them into alcohol/CO2 is gonna land me on the GOV’s shit list!!

  2. jack b :-) says:

    Good Lord a-mighty. You simply do NOT put beans ‘in’ chili, it’s a side dish. Beans in chili is sacrilege! Get a rope!

    • Most of my kids were born in Texas, but I am more New Mexican than Texan.

      • Chuck says:

        No beans in my Chili here in the ABQ sir!

      • jack b :-) says:

        OK, I’ll give YOU a pass on that, since you obviously have a perfect understanding of the nm – tx chili w/ & w/o beans argument. Texans don’t fault nm for their slightly liberal (but flip-flopping on occasion) politics, all the water they, uh, borrow(ed) from us (and Colorado), the way the fed gummint ‘gave’ them our mountains or even that we had the first UFO crash here long before Roswell – who ofc gets all the credit – along w/ the small group of roswellian space ku-dets, for their effort. Just sayin’…

        But what we simply can’t countenance is their deranged habit of putting the damned beans in their perfectly good chili! I mean who came up with that? And for gawd’s sake, why? Was it the military or nasa tryin’ to minimalize? Was it a cost thing? Did algore invent it? Did Lurch Kerry serve it? Next it’ll be brisket just cooked up in a pan to ‘save time.’ No rub, no smoking, just cook it quick so’s it looks and tastes like jerky. Yech!!!

        I’ve gotta go with emeril on this one: ‘What did that chili ever do to you to deserve stuffin’ it with some ol’ nasty, swoll up bean filler?’ Bein’ a Texan, i’m quite sure he said that, and I know he’s from Boston or jersey or whatever, but he got down to naw-lins as fast as he could, so, well… Anyway folks, just please do NOT putcher tasteless, tough ol’ rawhide beans in yer chili – and certainly not in mine, since I’m usually packin’ my .45. Heck, that chili w/beans combo is already on yer grocer’s shelves sportin’ a 100 year half life like that aforementioned jerky product, along with the skittles and the twinkies, and hummus. Now, don’t get me started on hummus! Good honkin’ Christ almighty!!!

        Well heck, for fixin’ your chili here you can go and thank me later. And wouldja please pass the cornbread? And maybe summa those Hatch chili’s.


        ps – good on ya, chuck, you da MAN! 😉

    • I’ve swung both ways on that, over the last 62 years (I don’t remember eating chili before I was 3 years old–but I know I was hooked by the age of 7, when I was allowed to eat lunch at a little cafe just across the street from the school, a bowl of chili w/beans, crackers, and a glass of milk every day…one of the enduring reasons why I believe in God). I admit, I oscillate back and forth; but it is now my considered opinion (confirming my own taste, of course) that it is one of the signs of a great cook if he/she can make great chili with beans. And I know it can be done, because I’ve done it (and I’m 97% sure Steven Goddard has too, since he at least knows to use pinto beans).

  3. Larry Fields says:

    Hey Steven,
    You’ve just anticipated Barry’s next move: In order to save the planet from a heretofore overlooked source of Greenhouse gases, he wants to place a draconian methane tax on cabbage and dried legumes. So knock yourself out, and fart away while you can still afford to!

  4. mike says:

    You are not allowed to run your car on a freezing morning supposedly because of global warming, no good scientific reason, other than being used as a diktat to control and financially cripple people.

    It’s a matter of time before they go indoors and monitor our food and energy use, evolving left wing spawned technology is helping with this privacy monitoring incursion.

    The real purpose of eco legislation is to allow bureaucrats more monitoring rights over our existence, dictating, fining, reprimanding, telling us we are bad citizens, to make up pay even higher taxes to pay for even more monitoring. Think of it as a newly created milder, friendlier, green citizen slavery.

  5. tom0mason says:

    The new CCS for Breweries and Bakeries should be enacted shortly.

  6. Pathway says:

    They are already inside monitoring your energy use, its called the smart grid. They control the vertical they control the horizontal. All hail the collective.

  7. Andy Oz says:

    Considering you are in possession of a chemical (CO2) weapon (chili with beans), Russia will support you but there will now be a couple of Obama’s cruise missiles locked on your bowl of chili!
    I’d recommend making it in a camper out in the desert to throw them off. And don’t let it get on your clothes!!! 😀

  8. Shazaam says:

    If you get caught by the O-Bomb-Ya climate nazis, you can expect to be forced to wear activated charcoal lined shorts to sequester those chili emissions. Those folks are serious.

    Your post-chili methane might kill off the polie bears according to the 97 percent consensus* that the arctic shall be ice-free in 2013.

    *( 97% consensus of government bought and paid for “climatologists” / media shills )

  9. Billy Liar says:

    Is yeast on the EPA list to be banned?

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