Government Says CO2 Will Move Illinois To South Texas

According to our nation’s top climate experts, Illinois will become just like South Padre Island

ScreenHunter_387 Mar. 07 16.27

downloads.globalchange.gov/usimpacts/pdfs/midwest.pdf

If you reverse the letters, it says “this will occur right after monkeys fly out of Al Gore’s ass”

About stevengoddard

Just having fun
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17 Responses to Government Says CO2 Will Move Illinois To South Texas

  1. Mike says:

    I don’t think the Texan’s will have any of that.

  2. I don’t remember reading any stories this winter about blizzards, sub-zero temperatures and unplowed streets keeping people from getting to work in southern Texas.

  3. darrylb says:

    There is that mysterious group of top climate experts, pontificating about those ephemeral changes. .
    I want to see who they are and upon what study do the base these stupid conclusions.
    They are going to play the money cow out for as long as she can deliver.
    As Steve knows,,do years ago a majority of the same predictions were made, simply change the word warming to cooling. (The states would have to have moved in opposite direction then, but all the nasty stuff was predicted).

  4. darrylb says:

    er ah 30 years ago, not do years ago. I should proof read.

  5. Teddi says:

    I hope it moves the EPA into the Bermuda Triangle…

    • Gail Combs says:

      And move Washington DC into the Atlantic Ocean’s Puerto Rico Trench at (8,648 meters or 28,374 feet deep)

  6. Gamecock says:

    In no time at all, they’ll be telling the Texans how great things were back up north. And that Texans are doing everything wrong.

    Question: can Illini in Texas have guns?

  7. Louis Hooffstetter says:

    “Model projections…”
    Never mind.

  8. Gail Combs says:

    The Government is correct The people from Illinois will be moving to Texas to get away from the glacier….

  9. B.C. says:

    With apologies to Peter Gabriel… those Algorean rectal simians would be “Chakra Monkeys”. 😉

  10. Mohatdebos says:

    I am disappointed it will take as long as they suggest. I was hoping my Condo on frozen Lake Michigan would become a tropical paradise in my lifetime.

    • @Mohatdebos: I was born and grew up in Indiana but when I graduated from Purdue in 1974, I immediately moved to the Louisiana Gulf coast and have never regretted it.

      Well, while I was fleeing Hurricane Rita I was kind of regretting it. 🙂

  11. Justa Joe says:

    Your tax dollars hard at work… I could have some Junior high school kids dream up this kind of stuff for free as a creative writing assignment.

    I love how After they move IL southward they move it gradually west as if there is actually some kind of exactitude at work here.

  12. I wish it were so.

    Much more likely, our children will be struggling to cope with falling temperatures.

  13. BobW in NC says:

    My first thought…the illustration showed how the lower states would become like Illinois and Michigan – COLDER! Glad for the explanation. I was obviously wrong.

  14. David Jay says:

    I’m from Michigan. I see the map above showing us moving southwest.

    Is this going to mess up my GPS?

  15. Brian H says:

    David;
    No, it will be synched with the best computer models (and equally useful).

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