If Newton were a climate scientist, he would have called gravity “elevation change”
Some days the apple would fall, and other days the apple would rise. The acceleration of gravity would not be a constant, and would always be updated by the latest peer-reviewed research.
Apples would be forecast to become increasingly violent over time (mostly towards women and children) and fall earlier or later in the year.
The behavior of a falling apple would be much too complicated for laymen to understand, and the experts would call for anyone who challenges them to be jailed or burned at the stake.