Important Announcement If You Attended School In The 1940s

Scientists have discovered that thermometers read 1.5 degrees too high in the 1940s, and you have to make all those sick days now. You didn’t really have a fever.

Temperatures were typically taken in the afternoon, and are now taken in the morning. This causes a warming bias which requires an EPA approved anal probe.

About stevengoddard

Just having fun
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9 Responses to Important Announcement If You Attended School In The 1940s

  1. Latitude says:

    do these nubnuts realize we’re looking for a trend here….

  2. daveburton says:

    Of course I know that you know, but some of your readers might not know, that the the Six’s Registering (min-max) Thermometer had been in use for about 150 years by then.

  3. omanuel says:

    Thanks for your great sense of humor. Humor is probably the most effective way to defeat the tyrants that foolishly believe they control the world!

    May you live long and prosper!

    • I. Lou Minotti says:

      Humor AND sarcasm, omanuel! Both drive leftist progressives absolutely nuts (especially when one knows what they’re talking about)!

  4. Andy Oz says:

    My hard drive crashed and I lost all the temperature recordings. You’ll have to take my word that it was colder back then, and your not getting those sick days back either.

  5. Phil Jones says:

    I am just dying laughing here… Great anal-ology…

  6. I. Lou Minotti says:

    Yesterday, I had my annual preventative health-care exam. Doc and I always joke about things, so after he pulled his KY Jelly finger out of my ass, I asked him if he was being paid by the government. He said, “why would you ask that?” I said “because the government is always up your ass, and it always hurts.” First time I’ve ever seen a medical professional excuse himself so rapidly.

  7. markstoval says:

    I told my Mother about this and she tried to contact her old high school in Tennessee to find out when she could make up those school days but the high school had closed — even though it is still reporting data to the data set. The officials in the school district informed Mother than she would not need to make up the days as they were “infilling” her work.

    Mother asked about her grades and was told that past grades were somewhat lowered as compared to present day grades. It is due to adjustments made to accommodate the Common Core.

  8. Dean says:

    And of course, all school children now need to stay home as the thermometers now read too low. Those “normal” readings are actually severe fevers

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