Robbie Burns Explains Global Warming Theory

Wee, sleeket, cowran, tim’rous beastie,
O, what a panic’s in thy breastie!
Thou need na start awa sae hasty,
Wi’ bickerin brattle!
I wad be laith to rin an’ chase thee
Wi’ murd’ring pattle!

I’m truly sorry Man’s dominion
Has broken Nature’s social union,
An’ justifies that ill opinion,
Which makes thee startle,
At me, thy poor, earth-born companion,
An’ fellow-mortal!

I doubt na, whyles, but thou may thieve;
What then? poor beastie, thou maun live!
A daimen-icker in a thrave
’S a sma’ request:
I’ll get a blessin wi’ the lave,
An’ never miss ’t!

Thy wee-bit housie, too, in ruin!
It’s silly wa’s the win’s are strewin!
An’ naething, now, to big a new ane,
O’ foggage green!
An’ bleak December’s winds ensuin,
Baith snell an’ keen!

Thou saw the fields laid bare an’ waste,
An’ weary Winter comin fast,
An’ cozie here, beneath the blast,
Thou thought to dwell,
Till crash! the cruel coulter past
Out thro’ thy cell.

That wee-bit heap o’ leaves an’ stibble
Has cost thee monie a weary nibble!
Now thou’s turn’d out, for a’ thy trouble,
But house or hald,
To thole the Winter’s sleety dribble,
An’ cranreuch cauld!

But Mousie, thou art no thy-lane,
In proving foresight may be vain:
The best laid schemes o’ Mice an’ Men
Gang aft agley,
An’ lea’e us nought but grief an’ pain,
For promis’d joy!

Still, thou art blest, compar’d wi’ me!
The present only toucheth thee:
But Och! I backward cast my e’e,
On prospects drear!
An’ forward tho’ I canna see,
I guess an’ fear!

About stevengoddard

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9 Responses to Robbie Burns Explains Global Warming Theory

  1. tom0mason says:

    Will yee have a wee dram aft’ that?

  2. Truthseeker says:

    Emotive, incoherent and lacking supporting data … definitely the same as the Global Warming Theory.

  3. Jimmy Haigh. says:

    Robbie Burns. A genius – and fellow proud Scotsman.

  4. darrylb says:

    Jimmy H., yeah, and he loved his scotch and his women.
    The community in which I did most of my teaching, dubbed itself the curling capitol of southern MN.
    Each year we had a Bobby Burns Celebration. A Miss Bonny Lass was chosen. The Highland Fling was danced to the sound of Bagpipes, There were some horrible foods available (Agas- spelling?) It was the only time in my life that I wore a skirt.
    Some years we had the highland games. Tossing the Caber, throwing the weight and all that.

  5. Streetcred says:

    After ‘reading’ that it might be a good idea for the Scots to secede from ‘Great Britain’.

  6. tom0mason says:

    And Now the IPCC Refutes Robbie Burns by Expaining Global Warming and Catastrophic Climate Change

    ‘Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
    Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
    All mimsy were the borogoves,
    And the mome raths outgrabe.

    ‘Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
    The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
    Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
    The frumious Bandersnatch!’

    He took his vorpal sword in hand:
    Long time the manxome foe he sought —
    So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
    And stood a while in thought.

    And, as in uffish thought he stood,
    The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
    Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
    And burbled as it came!

    One two! One two! And through and through
    The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
    He left it dead, and with its head
    He went galumphing back.

    ‘And hast thou slain the Jabberwock?
    Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
    Oh frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!’
    He chortled in his joy.

    ‘Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
    Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
    All mimsy were the borogoves,
    And the mome raths outgrabe.

  7. Jimmy Haigh. says:

    darrylb says:

    August 20, 2014 at 3:53 pm

    That will be “Haggis” you are thinking about. A Scottish culinary delight… Eaten with neeps and tatties.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haggis

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