Seven years ago the Messiah spoke to us, and announced that in a hundred years or so he would sit his daughters on his knee and brag about his great accomplishments.
I am absolutely certain that generations from now, we will be able to look back and tell our children that this was the moment when we began to provide care for the sick and good jobs to the jobless; this was the moment when the rise of the oceans began to slow and our planet began to heal
– Barack Obama, June 3, 2008
So how did he do?
According to the University of Colorado, sea level is rising very slightly faster now than it did when Obama made the speech in 2008.
So the sea level thing didn’t work out exactly as promised. But what about his promise to provide the first health care in America? I did some research and discovered that there were doctors in the United States prior to 2008.
As far as healing the planet goes, Obama’s planetary physicians (Gavin Schmidt and Tom Karl) just announced that the planet has its highest fever ever.
The jobs thing didn’t turn out quite so well either. Unemployment doubled over the 12 months after the moment Obama healed the job market. All in all, it appears that the messiah is not performing up to expectations.
So when he sits his daughters down on his knee next century, I expect that he will do what he always does, and just read a bunch of nonsense off the teleprompter.