I’m Afraid To Go Outside

I need your help!

President Obama says global warming will make us sick. We might have an asthma attack. What should I do? I have to go to Whole Foods.

About stevengoddard

Just having fun
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15 Responses to I’m Afraid To Go Outside

  1. Snowleopard says:

    Global warming might be catastrophic when it arrives again. That is when it melts the ice sheets formed in the next glaciation. Unless you are the Highlander, you probably don’t need to worry!

  2. Truthseeker says:

    Go to McDonalds or Burger King instead …

  3. Disillusioned says:

    You have nothing to worry about. That is, unless you stop off at the Circus on the way to Whole Foods And eat peanuts.

  4. John Smith says:

    interesting question
    as you know your former governor, Mr. O’Malley, is a candidate for Borg #1
    I think he is promising free gas masks for members of the hive
    and Whole Foods for all the fly over states, even Texas and Alabama
    anyways, until he is in charge, you’ll have to buy your own
    BTW, I understand he sings

  5. darrylb says:

    Wish I could think some clever thing to say, but I can’t
    However, I can say that it was snowing here (So. MN) today when I got home from track practice

  6. I’m pretty sure I caught rabies from a bad case of Globar Walming.

  7. Chewer says:

    I hear there’s some top notch pizza joints that deliver 😉
    Just make sure you wear your fine particulate facemask whenever you open the door.

  8. Lance says:

    cycling season has arrived up north here….but I too am afraid!!

  9. darrylb says:

    OK, when I was in the military I taught for a while NBC. Nuclear, biological, chemical warfare,
    The threat and how to protect.
    It was mandatory to call it a protective mask and not a gas mask or a face mask. Just sayin.

  10. gator69 says:

    Nobody needs to go to Hole Foods. The settled scientists say cholesterol and salt are fine.

    • Donna K. Becker says:

      Try telling that to my new cardiologist!

      I merely saw his P.A. during the first visit, but she naturally launched into the salt/cholesterol issue. Not to mention that she said that LDL indicates that too much cholesterol has been consumed.

      I tried to correct her by sharing my understanding that sugar and other refined carbohydrates contribute more to LDL than cholesterol intake does.

      Based upon his online profile, this cardiologist is also a rabid vegetarian. That’s fine, as long as it suits one’s own nutritional needs and one does not try to impose it on those whose needs differ.

  11. Don’t go there, Steve! Not a good idea. It’s the worst place you wanna be when global warming suddenly breaks out:

    blockquote>‏
    Glynner85 ‏@Glynner85
    I just watched a woman cry in the empty kale aisle of the Tribeca Whole Foods. Life is a prison.

    ———-
    Noah Gray ‏@noahWG
    Tempers flaring outside Whole Foods on Houston & Bowery. Ran out of baby kale… (pic via @margafret) #blizzardof2015

    ———-
    David Burge ‏@iowahawkblog
    News about panic buying at NYC Whole Foods reaches Louisiana

    http://twitchy.com/2015/01/26/free-range-cannibalism-hearty-mockery-as-blizzard-fearing-nyc-hipsters-storm-whole-foods-photos

  12. Steve, don’t eat it!

    Steve, Don’t Eat It! Vol. 6

    Natto

    I recently came across a container of fermented soybeans in the supermarket. I don’t mean an old container of soybeans some stockboy forgot to toss. These are fermented-on-purpose soybeans from Japan. That’s what Natto is.

    I remembered hearing about this stuff on Iron Chef one time when it was the secret ingredient. The judges in the show were commenting on what a great job the chefs had done to “suppress the smell” of the natto. I’m no Iron Chef, but I’ve got a clever way to suppress the smell.
    …..

    You have been warned. Read the rest here:

    http://www.thesneeze.com/steve-dont-eat-it

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